Monday, March 24, 2008

Thanks but no

10 AM kickoff for Pats-Jets? Marvelous! 9 AM kickoff for Michigan-Iowa? Lovely! 6 AM for the Wimbledon finals? A little early, but I’ll do it! Monday Night Football concluding at a reasonable hour? Pac Ten basketball beginning at a reasonable hour? Superlative!

Pacific Standard Time is a glorious thing.
(Editor's note: Pacific Daylight Time ain't so bad either)

Alas, tomorrow the time zone gods frown upon we in the west. 3 AM! You in the East have nothing to complain about. 6 AM is isn’t even early! But this 3 AM business, well, it’s just not possible. 3 AM is like the island on Lost, you can approach it from any angle, but you won’t find the bitch.

I certainly haven’t seen 3 AM since my sad, unemployed days when I willed myself there by staying up to the wee hours pondering impenetrable thoughts like, “Perhaps I was wrong about Arquimedez Pozo, maybe Billy Jo Robidoux is the greatest name in baseball history.”’ Failing at that, I would then contemplate whether my bank account could handle a trip to Dick’s for a cheeseburger, some fries, and a chocolate shake. The ketchup at Dick's costs extra, and in those days five cents was precious.

I should note that those days I speak of were only a few weeks ago. Fortunately for me, Bryan was in need of a Head Writer for “Me and Pedro Down By the Ballpark.” Twenty-five cents they pay me for every post. And a nickel bonus for each mention of a Lou Gorman-era player. Rather sly of me to get the Robidoux reference in there, no? Yes, friends, times are good. As you can imagine, now when I enter Dick’s I buy a round of ketchup for everyone in the joint. The regulars have taken to calling it "Robidoux relish."

Anyway, by the time I wake tomorrow at 6:30, I expect a colorful tapestry of opening day events to reside above this post. A game blog so full of life and infinite wisdom that it will seem as though I did in fact wake at 3 AM and watch the game with my own eyes.

Of course, there is always the chance I have a restless night’s sleep, get out of bed at 2:30, head over to the International District, and watch the game with an excitable crowd of Japanese expatriates. I imagine they’re pretty amped for this one, what with Kurt Suzuki getting the start at catcher for Oakland.

7 hours to go.


micro$oft said...

Hate to be that guy, but we've been on Daylight Time and not Standard Time for the last few weeks. (Remember that whole thing about how Seattle got non-trivially less depressing a few weeks ago? Yeah, that was that)

As I write this, Gary Thorne and Steve Phillips are on ESPN dressed to the nines reporting from the Tokyo Dome -- no doubt after an early morning at the Tsukiji Market inspecting the catch of the day at the world's largest fish market.

Anyway, we're under 6 hours and counting...

Ben said...

Thorne and Phillips, eh? Yeah, definitely sleeping in.

Bryan said...

You absolutely do not "hate to be that guy." We tell the truth here at Me and Pedro.