Yikes!

Says Edes:
"Jason Varitek struck out all three times he batted last night. Counting the regular-season games in Japan against Oakland, in which he struck out six times in eight at-bats, Varitek has whiffed in nine of his last 11 at-bats."

Let's not overreact. But just for the sake of overreaction, you want to know what's uglier than those numbers? The list of potential 2009 free agent catchers:

• Rod Barajas TOR
• Henry Blanco CHC
• Johnny Estrada MIL
• Toby Hall CWS
• Kenji Johjima SEA
• Adam Melhuse TEX
• Mike Redmond MIN
• Ivan Rodriguez DET
• David Ross CIN
• Javier Valentin CIN
• Jason Varitek BOS
• Vance Wilson DET
• Gregg Zaun TOR

Johjima is somewhat intriguing. For a 31-year-old. The Mariners could potentially be looking to go younger and cheaper and give catching duties to Jeff Clement in 2009. But other than that? Is Steve Lomasney ready for the show yet?

Edes also says:
"[Timlin being placed on the 15-day disabled list] means three relievers battling for the final spot on the pitching staff - lefthander Javier Lopez, the incumbent, and righthanders Bryan Corey and David Aardsma - will remain with the club at least through the two regular-season games in Oakland."

Recasting the Best Picture nominees

No Country for Old Men
Sheriff Ed Tom Bell: A laconic, soon-to-retire small-town sheriff.
Mike Timlin: The guy’s seen it all and he’s got four World Series rings to show for it. You’d like to see him ease his way into retirement but then you’re in the ALCS and the Indians have two runners on with nobody out and the elderly righty gets the call to pick up the slack for his struggling partners.

Llewelyn Moss: A man who flees with $2 million in drug money he finds in the desert.
Craig Hansen: Young man got his $1.3 million signing bonus and while he did not flee he’s hardly been heard from since.

Anton Chigurh: An assassin hired to recover the drug money.
Jonathan Papelbon: Probably more nuts that Chigurh. Thankfully he just breaks batters' spirits rather than their skulls. Although he has not been asked to recover Hansen’s signing bonus he has filled the closer role originally slated for Hansen rather adequately.


There Will Be Blood
Daniel Plainview: An obsessive loner who hits it big in California's turn-of-the-20th-century oil rush.
J.D. Drew: He’s a loner and five years, $70 million = striking oil.

Eli Sunday: A charismatic evangelical preacher and faith healer.
David Ortiz: A charismatic evangelical preacher and faith healer.


Michael Clayton
Arthur Edens: An eccentric and brilliant lawyer who suffers a mental/existential breakdown.
Manny Ramirez: An eccentric and brilliant hitter who is due for another "episode" in which he demands a trade.

Michael Clayton: The fixer.
Scott Boras: Scary thought, eh?


Juno
Juno MacGuff: A pregnant teen.
Bartolo Colon: Yeah, I said it.

Paul Bleeker: Michael Cera
Nobody replaces Michael Cera.


Atonement
No, they'd have trouble with the accents and there's nothing I hate more than bad British accents. I'm looking at you, Costner.