Winner is us

While the Yankees were inspiring profanity-laced tirades and signing a one-time comedian to a one-day contract, the Red Sox were busy winning their second consecutive Mayor's Cup.

Eat it, Yankees! You, too, Minnesota Twins!

Buchholz vs. Liriano

Today Fort Myers plays host to the fifth and deciding Mayor's Cup game. Clay Buchholz against Francisco Liriano. This one has all the makings of a classic. The Sox are even trotting out the B+ lineup:

Ellsbury CF
Youkilis 1B
Ortiz DH
Ramirez LF
Lowell 3B
Drew RF
Varitek C
Lowrie 2B
Cora SS

In other news, Kolb, Ginter and Thurston have been informed they have been cut. No word yet on whether this was just a prank by uppity vet Sean Casey.

Twins live to fight another day

When his Hall of Fame career comes to a close many years from now, today's outing will be a footnote to a footnote in the legend of Clay Buchholz. But for the second consecutive day a young Sox starter struggled in his first outing of spring. It began promisingly enough for Clay: A heater fouled back, followed by a crisp curve called for a strike to get ahead 0-2 on the first man he faced. But then Twins non-roster invitee, Jon Knott, took a curve for a ball and proceeded to send Buchholz's 1-2 fastball out on a rope over the left field wall. Buchholz would go on to give up four more hits (a couple of bloops) and walk a batter while allowing four runs in his first inning of work. Somewhat surprisingly, Francona sent him back out for a second inning, in which Buchholz seemed to hit his stride, retiring the side in order.

Corey, Okajima, Lopez, and Delcarmen each pitched an inning of shutout relief. And then it was Craig Hansen's turn in the ninth. Three walks, two hits, and four earned runs for the onetime closer-in-waiting. Tough day with the lumber for the Sox, their lone extra base hits coming on Lowell's solo home run and Ortiz's double. 8-2 final score.

In spoiling the Sox' home opener the Twins have crawled back into Mayor's Cup 2008. They now trail the series 2-1, with the teams set to square off in Friday's split squad game four. In case you're curious (and why wouldn't you be?) the Twins have won ten Mayor's Cups to the Sox' five. Orsillo told me so. It would appear that Fort Myers is Twins Nation.

We're underway!

4:05 Hydrocodone is a hell of a drug.

4:06 Boof Bonser does look svelte. And I don't think that's the drugs talking.

4:07 Why is Julio Lugo batting leadoff? I hope Bill James addresses this in the 60 Minutes interview.

4:something Mastsuzaka gets out of innings one and two by inducing double plays. No control problems. All signs point towards a Beckett-like domination of the American League in year two. His new arsenal of pitches was simply dazzling. He will probably win 30 games. At least.

4:36 I need some pudding.

4:37 MLB TV is failing me. Switching over to WRKO.

4:38 Jon Rish and Joe Castig are talking about this. I fight the urge to switch back to NESN.

4:41 Rish notes that Hideki Okajima looks to have bulked up in the off season. Joe Castig notes that Buscher is not a good name for ballplayer (you know, the "bush league" connotation and whatnot). Chuckles all around.

4:58 Twins pitcher Kevin Slowey is showing me something.

5:02 Youk goes yard with a two run dong. Athletes Performance is paying off already! Or perhaps it's the intense ping pong training. Either way Youk is on pace for a huge season.

5:04 Tek makes it back to back dongs and we're on our way. Sorry Slowey, it would appear I jinxed your ass.

5:10 Slowey has unraveled with two walks after the two dongs. Gardenhire makes the call for Nathan. Remy: "Well, they're gonna ask Nathan to get them 15 outs in this game." It's the Mayor's Cup. Throw pitch count out the window.

5:12 The Twins did not bring in Nathan after all. They brought in Bryan Bass. Hey, it's spring training for Remy and Orsillo, too. Oh, by the way I switched back to NESN. I'm a sucker for pictures.

5:16 You know what else I'm a sucker for? Pudding! Garçon, another round please!

5:18 A Jed Lowrie sighting. He's in at short for Lugo. The Twins get to see what they're missing out on. Timlin sets down the side in order. Fourth inning over.

5:29 Pedroia gunned down at home plate. Yup, still slow. Clearly his Athletes Performance training was all for naught. Great throw by the young centerfielder. Torii who?

5:30 Non-roster invitee Gil Valazquez drives in non-roster invitee Joe Thurston! 4-0. Remy: "Great to see the young guys coming through." Both Thurston and Velazquez are 28. I love how sometimes "young" is synonymous with "non-roster invitee who I have never heard of."

5:42 An inning later Kottaras hits a double down the right field line off Joe Nathan. Do I smell backup catcher controversy? No? How about we start a grassroots movement.

5:45 Crispus Attucks drives in Kottaras with a single up the middle. 5-0. Carlos Gomez, the aforementioned young Twins centerfielder, makes a wild throw home allowing Crisp to advance to second. Oh how they miss Torii Hunter.

5:53 Nice AB by Lowrie against Joe Nathan. Worked the count full and drew a walk. Nathan did not look terribly sharp but still managed to strike out the side.

5:58 Brian Buscher just went yard off of Tavarez. 5-1. "How do you like my surname now, Joe Castig?!!??!"

6:00 Brandon Moss boots the ball in his first chance at first base. This looks to be more moot than before. Oh well.

6:04 More drugs for me. Note: This development is unrelated to Moss's error.

6:31 Ah, it's the bottom of the 8th and Dan Kolb, one of gents in contention for a spot in the bullpen, is on the mound. Let's see what he's got.

6:38 The good news: Kolb looked okay, getting two batters to ground out after surrendering a leadoff single. He then walked a batter and followed that up by inducing another ground ball for the final out of the inning. The less good news: The first four batters Kolb faced wore numbers 79, 80, 68 and 77. The awesome news: On the second out of the inning Kolb covered first base flawlessly—clearly he's been taking spring training drills seriously.

6:46 Remy is impressed with Joe Thurston's wheels. Frankly, so am I. Alas, it was a groundout. Still, a 2-for-3 night for the Pawtucket-bound Thurston.

6:51 Three-run blast for Kottaras! 8-1. George is the star of the game with his four RBI. Somewhere (very likely at the Fort Myers Bennigan's) Doug Mirabelli just pooped his pants. The grassroots movement is picking up steam. Where there are not spring training story lines we shall invent spring training story lines! "Varitek-Kottaras 2008" bumper stickers coming right up!

6:59 Rally time! Two out, two run single in the bottom of the 9th and the score is 8-3.

7:00 Minnesota farmhand Tommy Watkins K's and the game is over. Sox win game one of the five game series. In the history of the Mayor's Cup the team that takes the first game is 13-12* in the series, so obviously this is a huge W.

7:01 This is the last time I blog an entire game. Not sure why I did it, not sure there's anything worth reading here. But the drugs were fun and the pudding, delicious.

*No.

Today's Agenda

Before we get started, today's forecast: Snow, With a Chance of Orsillo and some passing parasites. It's Mayor's Cup Opening Day and I plan to celebrate in grand style!

Today's Agenda
All times PST
8:23 AM Compose post detailing today's agenda, complete with wisdom tooth extraction, heavy drug abuse, and live blogging of Game 1 of Mayor's Cup 2008.

8:26 AM Post something for you to remember me by in case I don't make it out of surgery.

9:30 AM Have four wisdom teeth extracted.

9:31 AM Ingest copious amounts of drugs.

9:32 AM - 4:oo PM Convalesce.

4:05 PM - Infinity Convalesce while live blogging Game 1 of Mayor's Cup 2008 while high as a kite while eating Snack Packs and Jell-O.

In other health-related news: Colon seems stronger than expected!

Let the games begin!

Well, it all starts tomorrow, folks. This is why they've been training hard all off season. The title defense begins now. Yes, friends, I speak of the coveted Mayor's Cup and game 1 of the 5 game series with crosstown rival, the Minnesota Twins. It's hard to imagine but the Mayor's Cup was not always the hottest ticket in town. Nope, in fact it was only quite recently that the series 'officially' began.

That said, the Mayor's Cup does have deep historical roots. In the spring of 1910 the Boston Pilgrims and the St. Paul Doublets faced off in a bitter turf war for Hot Springs, Arkansas, supremacy. It seems there was not enough Hot Spring to go around. One afternoon little-used Boston infielder Doc Moskiman got into a shouting match beside the Springs with Doublets center fielder Percy Staunton shortly after Staunton had absconded with the Pilgrim's bath robe. Moskiman was left with nary a garment to cover his loins and several Doublets in the vicinity made sport of his plight. Tempers flared, a wager was made, games were played, and in the end the Doublets took the series in 17 games. The Pilgrims were banished to Redondo Beach, California, for Spring Training 1911. So concludes the first chapter in the legend of the Mayor's Cup.

Red Sox Spring Training Homes 1901-Present
1901 Charlottesville, Virginia
1902 Augusta, Georgia
1903-1906 Macon, Georgia
1907-1908 Little Rock, Arkansas
1909-1910 Hot Springs, Arkansas
1911 Redondo Beach, California
1912-1918 Hot Springs, Arkansas
1919 Tampa, Florida
1920-1923 Hot Springs, Arkansas
1924 San Antonio, Texas
1925-1927 New Orleans, Louisiana
1928-1929 Bradenton, Florida
1930-1931 Pensacola, Florida
1932 Savannah, Georgia
1933-1942 Sarasota, Florida
1943 Medford, Massachusetts
1944 Baltimore, Maryland
1945 Pleasantville, New Jersey
1946-1958 Sarasota, Florida
1959-1965 Scottsdale, Arizona
1966-1992 Winter Haven, Florida
1993-Present Fort Myers, Florida

A few notes of interest:
Four World Series titles in seven seasons of training in Hot Springs and they decide to pack up and leave the Valley of the Vapors for Tampa? There's your curse! I kid. Maybe. Why turn your back on the natural healing powers of the Hot Springs? There must be more to this story. Please also note those World War II years when the Sox trained in Medford, Baltimore, and Pleasantville. A third note of interest, the Sox traitorously joined the Cactus League for seven years from '59-'65.