Week in Review: High Five

Manny: High Five
Javier Lopez: High Five
Royals!: High Five
Tommy Holmes: Sad High Five
Craig Hansen: High Five?
Lugo: ... nope, can't do it

And one more round of applause for Manny, who's really just out of his mind right now.

(And thanks to Funny or Die for making their videos an unwieldy size... yeesh.)

I want to talk about the Royals

Yesterday Brian Bannister tossed a complete game against the Twins. He is 3-0 with a 0.86 ERA. Today Zack Greinke tossed a complete game against the Mariners. He is 3-0 with a 0.75 ERA. Tomorrow the Royals trot out something named a John Bale. He is 0-2 with a 5.84 ERA. Just my luck that it's Bale's game I attend. The Bale-Batista matchup is certain to have me up late this evening as I consider the potential magic that is witnessing a combined twelve innings from two mediocre bullpens.

But back to Bannister and Greinke. Young Zack is reaching his potential after being felled by social anxiety disorder in the past. Good stuff. On Bannister, ah, Omar, does your Ambiorix hurt when you think about him? Is it a dull pain or is it humonburgos?

Alas, unless these gents keep the ERA's below one they might not be racking up the wins for long. Take a look at the Royals' offense: Last in the majors in runs (38), tied for the last in the majors in home runs (5!), last in the American League in total bases (143) and OBP (.309). None of this is surprising. Jose Guillen, Gil Meche turns his lonely eyes turn to you.

That R.A. Dickey throws a mean knuckler. And he mixes in some much harder stuff than Wake. The M's just called him up today along with Arthur Rhodes. I recall when Dickey was with the Rangers, Remy was fond of discussing "the thang." This Wikipedia tidbit (unsourced and perhaps apocryphal) is something I did not know:

His early success was considered to be due in large part to his wide array of pitches including: a fastball, changeup, curveball, and a special knuckle-combination pitch known simply as "the thang". There was some speculation that Dickey actually "stole" the pitch from Stoughton High School pitcher Paul Snyder, however after a brief dispute and failed lawsuit Dickey was cleared of any wrongdoing.

Incidentally, not long ago Omar Minaya was cleared of any wrongdoing after a brief dispute and failed lawsuit. It seems Jim Duquette claimed that Minaya "stole" his blueprint for building a championship ballclub.

Know Thy Enemy: Kansas City Royals

"Know Thy Enemy: Kansas City Royals" is fourth in a twenty-eight part series of season previews.

Knowing no Kansas City Royals fans personally, Me and Pedro sought some big-time assistance, emailing the great Joe Posnanski for some help. We wondered, in the spirit of his "Curiously long posts," if he would playfully honor us with some Royals haikus.

Amazingly, he did just that. And they are:

Billy Butler says
On the first pitch he's raking
Hope springs eternal

When small market teams
Pay big for Jose Guillen
At least that's something

Long live the king.

Joe Posnanski is freaking awesome, and has embraced the haiku on his own blog. Only good can come of this.