Monday, March 10, 2008

Beckett's back overshadowed by Pelican Wars

Well, if we must be pessimistic about Josh Beckett, at least we can be optimistic on Jon Lester. The young lefty went four innings, allowing no runs on two hits and striking out five while walking just one. Told you he'd be fine.

Begrudgingly, I must say Sh********* ain't bad at blogging. This is precisely the kind of stuff we need more of:

In two random, unrelated events, a Japanese newspaper reporter arrived late for the game because his windshield was shattered by what he said was a low-flying pelican. Then a foul ball shattered the computer screen of Joe McDonald of the Providence Journal while he was downstairs interviewing Lester.

One minor quibble, How is he so sure the events were random and unrelated? It seems very likely to me that a) the pelican was a kamikaze who knew precisely what he was doing and b) it was not a foul ball that broke Joe McDonald's computer screen, but rather a ball dropped by a pelican bombardier. The Pelican Wars are upon us, friends. These are only the opening salvos. The Dodgers are right to abandon Dodgertown and make their retreat to Arizona.

Also, Jacoby Ellsbury has been collecting a lot of hits while Coco sits. I rhyme for fun but the centerfield competition, 'tis done.

Quick, How's the backup catcher grassroots coup campaign progressing? Well, Mssrs. Kottaras and Brown are each batting a cool .625 for spring. Hell, let's dump Tek, too, while we're at it. JOKING! OMG, I was totally joking! Not about the Pelican Wars, that part is real.

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