How Youkilis Will Spend His $3 million

Deal is done. Here's where the money is going:

• Recoup the investment loss in Slump Buster energy drink ($100,000)
• Impending Wedding ($500,000)
• Residual payments to Michael Lewis for placement in Moneyball ($200,000)
• 1 BR North End love nest ($1.1 million)
• Hitting the shit out of the ball (free)
• Donations to his foundation, now that he's out of hair ($200,000)
• Giving to Sean Casey mayoral campaign ($100,000)
• Ruling the Yankees ($138.48 for instructional 2004-07 DVD set with free Super Saver shipping)
• General owning of AL East ($500,000)
• Nancy Kerrigan-like takeout of Erik Bedard before Seattle series ($20,000)
• Bet on Pats to go undefeated next year ($181,000 at 25-1)
• Jacoby Ellsbury signed baseball ($159)
• Chips ($88,702.52)