Monday, May 12, 2008

Tomfools and philosophers

What does one say after dropping three of four to the seventh worst franchise in sports? There is frustration and there is fear as the Rays' mighty stingers beams of light advance rapidly (half a game back!). But mostly I'm just mad at Moneyball. Damn you, Moneyball! If only Terry Ryan had not become infatuated with Livan Hernandez way back in 2002, dubbing him "Greek God of 6-1 Record Despite Having Higher WHIP Than Both Sidney Ponson and Odalis Perez," none of this would have happened. Also, I think the trip to Japan is finally catching up with the Sox. Yes, bad sushi, I think it was.

Moving along, just when you thought the rivalry couldn't get any more absurd, news that a Yankee fan in California punched a Red Sox fan, injured his hand, sued the Red Sox fan and won $25K.

“I’m a musician and I depend on my hands to make a living,” said Melendez, a professional bongo player whose phone message identifies him as “The No. 1 Yankee Fan in the World.” He sued, and the jury awarded him $15,297 for medical costs and $10,000 in punitive damages last week.

Are we sure this Melendez character isn't Jason Grimsley in disguise? He's just the sort of unscrupulous tomfool to pull off a stunt like this. Bongo player? Come on, Grimsley, you can do better than that.

Speaking of steroid abusers, Craig Hansen is inspired by the following pearl of wisdom from California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger:

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardship and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

Funny, here I had always imagined Hansen's personal philosophy was more in line with the Jesse Ventura school.

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