Paul Purse

I feel the same way about Paul Pierce that Juno's father/stepfather/whatever felt about her baby daddy: "Paulie Bleeker? I didn't think the kid had it in him."

I'm not the biggest Paul Pierce fan. I like watching him score and have some level of admiration for, as I believe it was Eric Neel said, "his funky, earthbound way to the basket." I have no real idea how he succeeds in the NBA without any sort of dominant skill.

But he does. However, for years he's done it and pouted at the same time. Now, it's hard to blame him entirely, as he was given jack sh*t to work with until Kevin McHale popped in an old Celtics tape, drank half a bottle of Southern Comfort and dialed the first person in his phone (Ainge, Danny). You ready to vent? LET'S VENT!

Even by his own admission, Pierce sort of mentally checked out last year. This year has obviously been different, but there have still been times when he'll force his shot, do that crazy thing where he drives and throws his arms up and then looks like he's going to cry when he doesn't get the foul call.

(Speaking of fouls, what on earth is his foul-line foot arrangement? That's straight out of the Nick Van Exel school of weird stances. He's got one foot way in front of the other and is half crouched over. It's odd, especially for someone who lives at the line.)

In the playoffs, though, he's starting to live up to his role as "Captain." Now, I have argued in non-Internet circles that it's absurd that Pierce is the captain when Garnett is clearly the team leader. But, as has been discussed ad nauseum on the various tubes, Garnett isn't a cutthroat playoff baller. Neither is Pierce, really, but he'll have to do, and he's comfortable trying. He's been succeeding so far, but we'll see what happens when he throws up a stinker. He's not Kobe for a reason, and the reason is consistency. If Garnett or Rondo (or that other guy) can pick up the team once or twice, as they have done so far, the C's can win it all. It's truly a team effort.

All that said, I think the Celtics are going to have a surprisingly easy time with the Pistons. The problem against the Hawks and the Cavs was that both teams had one scorer who could destroy the Celtics' superlatively-good defense. The Pistons have many very good players, but they don't have a superstar scorer. The Celtics should be able to shut them down, as a unit. And despite what sounds like a column full of dogging Paul Pierce, he should really shine in this series (It's the next one that I'm potentially worried about, vs. Bowen or Kobe, when rough play and ego battles will get ratcheted up to crazy level). So I'm going to say something ridiculous like Celtics in five, having been spotted game one, leading to an ESPN about-face on tired the "can they win a road game" storyline so fast that you'll feel all whiplashed like Mike Mussina spinning to watch balls fly into the bleachers.

(That is a pretty ridiculous photo btw)