Praise and the opposite of praise

Sometimes it seems like we're endlessly piling criticism on Julio Lugo and heaping praise on Kevin Youkilis. So here's this: Julio Lugo has a higher OBP, more doubles, more walks and the same number of home runs as Derek Jeter. THE Derek Jeter! Also, Julio Lugo did not have any errors last night. And then there's Youk, who operates a rather pathetic blog. Shameful. Also, he hasn't had any errors in, what, 230 consecutive games. A little excessive, don't you think? And what's with that golden glove of his? Does he think he's better than everyone else? What say we divert the monies going to the Filipino boy and put them toward the "Julio Lugo Platinum Glove Fund"? Lord knows he deserves it.

Anyway, Youk is is no doubt displeased to be moving his act to the Metrodome where he has posted .269/.321/.346, 7 hits, 0 home runs, 2 runs, 1 RBI, 1 walk in 28 plate appearance. Youk's career numbers in 59 plate appearances at Detroit's Comerica Park are very reminiscent of Julio Lugo in his prime (June '06): .327/.424/.857, 16 hits, 8 home runs, 15 runs, 17 RBI, 7 walks.

Speaking of the four game set with the Twins, here's something terrible. This atrocity might deserve a post all its own. A ten worst franchises in sports list that includes the Minnesota Twins but not the Texas Rangers, Washington Nationals or Baltimore Orioles. It is most unfortunate. He characterizes Moneyball thusly, "it's a creative way of saying, 'we're not going to pay for our stars or reward our veterans who have earned their keep,'" and then proceeds to dumbly and lazily slam the Twins for being cheap while failing to acknowledge that they have managed to stay competitive (they're currently in first place) while others working under similar financial constraints have been, well, not competitive. Why is it the Texas Rangers so often seem to avoid getting put on lists like this? They've never won a playoff series in the history of their franchise. Never! And they're located in the fifth biggest television market in the nation, so the unfortunate realities of baseball in the 21st century are not as threatening to them as they are for others.

Speaking of terrible things, here's this from the Washington Times. A list of five reasons to get over the Caps and Wizards losing. I discovered it when I was checking in on our pal Wilfredo, as I am want to do. Here it is:

1. You can now tune in to watch Wily Mo Pena hit all those home runs.

2. Under D.C. United's new deal with Volkswagen, all concession stands at RFK will sell only German beers.

3. More time to spend with your wife and kids outdoors. Ha!

4. You can go back to not caring all that much about hockey.

5. Three full months to study up on track and field, archery and handball before the Summer Olympics.

Oh mercy, that's hilarious. And quite edgy for a newspaper, don't you think? But seriously, doesn't that guy know that having fun at Wily Mo's expense is under my purview. Honestly, it's probably the worst five reasons for anything ever. It's as though the editors of the Washington Times were burning the late night oil, looking for the next big thing in online newspapering when suddenly the real hip one with his ear to the blogosphere said, "I've got it! What if we get the guy who does Marmaduke to riff on sports!" If this guy and the ten worst franchises guy joined forces Me and Pedro would be out of business faster than you can say, "Just because they're paid to write about sports does not mean you should reasonably expect them to watch sports."