Like 60 Minutes, only terrible

“A trip to the Dominican Republic uncovers Miguel Tejada’s secret and shadowy past."

Bravo, ESPN, bravo! That was very funny. Oh, wait, you’re serious? He lied about his age and we caught him! But wait, there’s more! Not only did he lie about his age, he also lied about HIS IDENTITY! In the mid-nineties Dominican doctors combined Félix Fermín's brain, José Uribe's hands, Pascual Pérez's love of banned substances, and Izzy Alcántara's nefarious nature to create Miguel Tejada. Kinda like RoboCop, but on the juice.

If I had any faith in that clown I saw ambushing Tejada on SportsCenter, I'd think maybe this feature would take the issue seriously and attempt to get to the root of why it is that Dominicans are so desperate to get a contract that they lie about their age. You know, instead of playing gotcha with elderly shortstops. But I doubt it.